BIG Planetary Enviornmental Nuclear Investagation Squad
by Qrow-Whistler
Summary: This story is a cross-over of Star Wars, Halo, and a secret(ish) charecter.
1. info

There will be cussing, extreme violence, and sexual references or scenes. If you do not like this kind of stuff, this story is not for you.


	2. Chapter 1

There are people out there who look to the sky and wonder if we're alone, if there is someone who is watching over us, controlling our fates.

Charles Jortan was not one of these people. He believed he had full control over his fate. That all he had to do was work hard and he would be great.

This is probably one reason why he was considered a nerd.

Charles was a very healthy, muscular, 17 year old teen. He was white with black hair and green eyes. He was in the chess club, the robotics team, the school band, and had been in every possible AP class in his sophomore year. He never did sports, so all the jocks made fun of him, but never tried to pick a fight with him.

This story begins with Charles, beginning his junior year at Xavier Skor High.

"Hey, watch it!"

"Get out of my way then, dumbass!"

"Fuck you!"

Charles tried to ignore things like this as he walked through the front door. He eased his way through the commotion to the cafeteria. He sat down at one of the tables and pulled out his schedule.

 _Great,_ he thought. _AP Biology._

He got up and went to the room number 69. _Here we go._ He opened the door. He noticed he was the first one there.

He was about to step out when a gruff voice said, "Come in."

Charles sighed. He stepped further into the room. He saw a man standing in the back of the room. He had a black beard with grey streaks that went to the bottom of his neck. He had a beer belly and was a bit taller than Charles, who was 5'11".

"My name is Mr. Skor. What's yours?"

"Charles Jortan."

"Ah." He looked down at a piece of paper he had in his hands.

 _Ah, crap._ Charles thought. _Seating chart._

"Sit anywhere you want. I need to speak with you."

"Ok…." Hesitantly, he sat down. Mr. Skor sat down next to him.

"Charles," He said. "You have to…." He was cut off by the first period bell ringing. "I'll talk to you after class."

"Yes,sir."

At that time, kids had started coming into the class.

"Sit where you want," said to the class.

There was quite a commotion as the students sat down. There was lots of yelling and

paper balls flying through the air.

"Settle down!"

The class was startled as Mr. Skor's loud, demanding voice echoed through the room. They quickly became quiet and eyed him as he walked to the front of the classroom.

"Alright! You guys are going to learn quickly that I'm not about this foolish nonsense. You mess around in my class and I'm going to make your life a living hell. Now," he looked down at his clipboard. "Let's see who's here."

"Psst!" Charles turned towards the voice. It was coming from the kid next to him. "Name's Tucker. My friends call me T.J."

Charles reached out his hand. "Name's Charles."

T.J. was a 16 year old African American. He was a sophomore who jumped into AP Biology by luck. He was on the baseball, and he was very kind-hearted. He tried to make friends with every person he met. As Mr. Skor called attendence, Charles only heard the following names.

"Joey Auto."

"Here."

Joey was the 17 year old quarterback of the varsity football team, the Warriors. He also worked at his father's automotive repair shop after school.

"Troy Doro."

"Here."

Troy was 17 years old and loved to blow up stuff in the woods. He almost started a forest fire once.

"Preston Irvine"

"Here"

Preston was 15 years old sophomore who skipped 8th grade and jumped into AP Biology.

"Charles Jortan."

"Here."

"Tucker Smith."

"Here, but it's just T.J., sir."

"Whatever. Ashyla Swan."

"Here."

Ashyla Swan was the most popular and the prettiest girl in the school. She was 17 years old. Guys would always look at her boobs and always moved their heads to look at her as she walked just to see her ass. What they didn't know was that her father was in the C.I.A., and that she had been trained to hack into any device on Earth, as well as being trained in every kind of martial arts.

"Well, that seems to be it." Mr. Skor set down his clipboard. "Now, let's get started."

Halfway through the period, Charles fell asleep.

"Jortan!"

He almost jumped out of his seat.

"Stay awake."

"Yes, Mr. Skor."

After the hour was over, the bell rang. Everyone got up and ran for the door.

"Don't forget to get your permission slips signed for the documentary tomorrow! If you don't, you'll be in the library doing an alternative assignment."

Charles was walking to his next class when T.J. ran up beside him.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"What class you got next?"

"English."

"Wow, so do I."

"Let's go."

As soon as they got into the room, they heard the teacher say, "Stand in the back."

Reluctantly, they went to stand in the back of the room. After a while, the teacher seated them in alphabetical order. T.J. ended up right behind Charles.

Eventually, the day dragged on into lunch. Charles walked through the cafeteria. He got his food and sat down at a table. Then, T.J. sat down next to him. After a few more minutes, some other students sat down with them. They were Joey, Troy, Ashyla, and Preston.

"Hey."

They all got introduced to each other. They told each other stories of their lives, told jokes, and laughed. They eventually became good friends.

Soon, lunch was over, then the final bell rang. All of the students rushed out of the school. Charles got on the bus. He sighed as he sat down. His best friend since 5th grade, Samantha Green, hadn't been there. They hadn't seen each other in six years. Sure, there was Facebook, but that just wasn't the same.

Finally, the bus got to his stop. He got off and ran to his house. He walked in and yelled, "Mom, I'm home!"

"There's snacks on the table!"

Charles sat down at the table and grabbed a Pepsi and some chips.

His mom came downstairs. She talked to him about school, then she told him to go take a shower. A few hours later, after showering, doing homework, and eating, he went to bed.


	3. Chapter 2

Charles suddenly woke up. He noticed it was still dark outside. He checked the time on his alarm clock.

 _4:30 am._

He sighed and rolled over, and cringed when he saw a face with no features. He yelled really loud as it said in a female voice, "Go back to sleep."

Suddenly, he sat up in bed. The sun was shining directly in his face. He groaned and flopped back down on his bed.

About half an hour later, after Charles was showered, dressed and fed, he stood waiting at the bus stop. As he stood there, a person in a black hoodie rode by. They stuck their arm out and knocked him over.

"Hey!" He yelled. All he could remember was seeing a pair of blue eyes, which seemed strangely familiar…..

A few minutes later, the bus pulled up. He got on and sat down next to T.J.. They talked about video games and sports the entire ride. The bus pulled up to the school twenty minutes later. Everyone was walking onto campus. Charles was looking around and saw a person wearing a black hoodie.

"Hey, fucker!" He yelled. The figure glanced at him, then ran.

"Who's that?" T.J. asked him.

"That son-of-a-bitch knocked me over while I was waiting for the bus!"

T.J. grabbed his arm as he attempted to run. "Just stay here. You don't want to…. Goddammit!"

Charles had wriggled out of his grip and took of after the person. He was chasing them through the hallways, jumping over people, dodging people left and right. Eventually, he had followed them into the history room. He tackled them as they shrieked. He look down at them. It was a beautiful girl, with silver hair that had blue tips, and dark blue eyes, which completed the most amazing face that Charles had ever seen.

"Well, you certainly know how to welcome a woman, don't you Charlie?"

"S...S...Sam?"

"Nah, I'm the fucking Tooth Fairy. Of course it's me! Now fucking help me get up."

Charles helped her up. As he did so, his eyes locked on to her upper chest. She had enormous boobs. He almost dropped her.

"Hey!" She shrieked. Charles caught her before she fell.

"Sorry, I got you."

"Thank you." She stood up and started dusting herself off.

"So, how are you?" He asked.

"I'm doing pretty good. Finally got moved into our old house. My boyfriend's family came out with us, so I spent yesterday with him."

Charles's mind started to race. "You have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah. He's going to Skryn High. We live right next to each other. What about you, Charlie? You found anybody yet?"

"Nah. I just can't seem to find the right girl. Nobody shares my personality."

"Ah." Sam paused for a while. Finally, she said, "You'll find someone eventually."

 _Yeah,_ Charles thought. _I feel like that someone is standing in front of me._

"So, what's your first class, Sam?"

"AP Bio."

"Wow, same as me."

"Well, then let's go."

Suddenly, an earsplitting alarm went off. It didn't sound like any alarm that would be in a school. More like a military base. Charles and Sam ran out the door, but were grabbed by the arms. They looked at their holder. It was Mr. Skor.

"You two. Let's go."

They took off after him. They follow him outside. They looked up. In the sky above them, there was a large grey triangular ship resting in place. Flying around were weird ships that were basically grey spheres with black hexagonal side fins, shooting green lasers everywhere.

"Hurry up!" Yelled Mr. Skor. "We don't have much time!"

Sam and Charles followed him towards the storage shed. He slammed the doors inward. He pulled a lever on the wall. A door appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the shed. He pushed them into the room behind the door.

"Push the button!" He said. "I'll see you there!"

Sam slammed her hand on the button. As the door closed, she saw several people wearing white armor come up and grab Mr. Skor. When the doors closed, the room seemed to be going down. Sam grabbed Charles's hand. His mind started to fuzz and his heart started to race.

Suddenly, the room stopped moving. The door opened and a large gun was pointed at them.

"Freeze!"


	4. Sorry for the wait guys

Sorry guys. Just been caught up with standardized testing and keeping people in line. I'm currently working on chapter 3, so thanks for being patient guys. Hope you enjoy chapter 3 when I post it.

-Charles Jortan

* * *

Happy Star Wars Day, guys! I regret to inform you that production on B.I.G. P.E.N.I.S. will not continue until September of this year, due to slow writing and lots of personal stuff. I'm sorry guys. I know you enjoy my story, but I just can't put my mind into my work right now. I will post a few chapters in September. Thanks for the support and please review. I can add OC's in the future, so leave ideas.

Name:

Age:

Height ( ft, in):

Gender:

Weapon Specialization:

Color Scheme for Armor:

Chosen Side (UNSC or Empire/First Order):

Sexual Orientation:

-Charles Jortan


	5. Update

Hello readers. If anyone who is reading this would like to help out with editing and/or writing, please PM me. All input is welcome and appreciated. Thx


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